version 2: The109Messages

hye sayang. i just woke up to send u this.

i wanna u to know n be sure n feel it, i love u, i love u, i love u, i love u!
as much as chocolates in this whole world! and i mean it with my heart and soul.

i love u more. am in one last meeting. call u mlm nanti.

sayang tolong hantarkan gambar sayang ke email i. i nak simpan dalam my laptop and my handphone. so if anyone ask, i can proudly say i hv a gf and this is her. Muah....

Good night and sweet dreams sayang. will be thinking and missing you. Mmuahx.

....bla bla bla......

yeah, you memang sweet, MrBigFatLiar.
not like other guys i have met.
you sangat caring,
you akan SMS me first thing in the morning and at the nite before you sleep.
and owh, YOUR CHARISMA!!!!
seriously your confidence had blinded my eyes.
i really2 thought you were a rich guy.
(not that i am materialistic, but i adore successful guys with CHARISMA)
i had really2 believed that you had many companies.
because you do live as a rich guy.
talking business on the phone most of the times, yet you never neglect me.
you selalu dapat call dari your family,
and banyak yang mintak tolong you sponsor atau tolong diaorang.
(you ade sindiket ye?)
rase macam stupid je bile ingat balik ingat i pernah cakap kat you,
"don't waste your money on me"
and you cakap
"never mind. you kan bakal bini i jugak. bukan orang lain"
tapi.......
yang paling buat i percayakan you,
bila you bawak i pergi rumah you and meet your parents.
and bila your cute little daughter jumpa i and hug me tight and call me "MUMMY"
(her mum had left her few years ago)
i xpernah plan nak kawen, sebab i still had stahun lebih lagi nak finish studies.
but you sangat sweet.
and your daughter pun sangat2 chumil and she seems happy when we were playing together.

people would be shocked that you had managed to make me berhutang dengan my friends lebih kurang RM****

i was shocked too. macam tak percaya je.
you KEJAM!!!!!!!!
you tibe2 tukar phone number dua hari sebelum i exam.
(dan buat i kena ulang subjek tuh. Urgh!!!)
i tak sangke you had blinded me gila2 macam tu.

ILMU APE YOU GUNE YA, MrBigFatLiar???????

he is still at large in KL. be careful, girls!

version 1: The109Messages

Hanya I sedih I pergi mcm ni.

Ada jalan tak nak dapat RM 700 tu? Tlg plz. Dgn nama ALLAH I sembah u. tolong i. plz..

Terima kasih sayang. Kita jumpa esok malam. Love u with all my heart.

Hehehe. Baru selesai makan roti. Itu aje yang termampu, duit yang ada cukup2 utk airport tax.

Ooo. Ok. Entahlah pesawat ni jadi tak. I bingung. Kalau tak esok je lah. I tido kat mana2 di airport ni.

i have waited and waited

but you never came.

i wore my best clothes everyday,

wishing that you would come.

i've promised myself that i will forgive you,

if only you come in front of me and hug me again.

but i never saw you again......

EVER.

hideousrottenapple

pernah dengar cerita pkok epal tak?
epal yang kat atas susah sangat nak capai,
tapi dialah yang paling sedap dan yang paling wangi.
hanya orang yang hebat je dapat epal tu.
ada epal yang kat atas tak tahan, dia fikir takde yang nak kat dia,
so dia 'turunkan darjat' dia dan turun lebih rendah.
dia ingatkan,
epal yang paling laku ialah yang paling mudah dipetik,
tapi.....
ada yang gopoh sangat sampai jatuh ke bumi.
dan akhirnya menjadi busuk...... dan buruk.
itulah aku.
the hideous rotten apple.

photo by tp

the 109 sms in my phone

in my phone,
secretly hidden in the 'saved items',
there's a folder named '**** ***** b. ***** *****'.
(yeah, i've named it with your full name, Mr. BigFatLiar)
i have deleted 90% of your sms.
but i can't delete these 109 messages.
because at 'crucial' times,
i'll open that folder and read it one by one......
and then i'll said to myself....
''Xyanne, this is why you can't trust anyone''

this is not a welcome note

i'm a hypocrite.
you can't deny that.
i'll let you know why.
and i'm sure that you will hate me.
cuz i hate myself too.
and i hate what had happened to me.
i hate being me.
i wish i could turn back time.
and change everything.
but it's impossible.

wish i had never been dat stupid.
*sigh